She Cries

I was cleaning my room, well lo and behold I found 4 diaries, each contained pieces of my mind dating back to 1999! Oh, such a angry little girl I was back in the day!

I think the phases go something like this:

1999-2001 = Angry little emo girl. High school problems equate to the end of the world (at that time). The hatred in me was enormous, looking back now, there really was NOTHING for me to be angry of, I just loved the explosion of feelings.

2002-2004 = Obsessed and fragile girl who was looking for something or someone to hang on to. By obsessed, I mean obsessed with men, bands, men in bands, or simply men in general. I think I relied too much on other people to make me happy. I couldn't find happiness within me, it had to be from other people and other places. Not content.

2005-2007 = Sad and confused girl. It's the "OMG, I really am growing up" stage in my life. I would also call it my experimental stage in life. I would not change a thing because all the demons I had to fight made my life so colourful, like a pretty rainbow...boy do I have stories for my grandchildren!

2008- to date = The back from the dead girl. My life has done a total 360 and I am in a different place. I wouldn't say happiest, but I am definitely building the foundation to happiness. Nothing will get in my way. This is me at my most selfish stage.

Anyhow...I've decided to post another writing dating back 27/06/2006 which I named "She Cries". I remember this one clearly, it was after a nice date with my then bf and we had to say our goodbyes at the train station (oh how romantic!)

The sadness to leave after such a lovely time together was carved on his face as I turn around for that last glimpse. It was enough to make this writing.

The last train will leave soon and she tries to remain calm.

A few seconds later, tears run down her cheeks,

She can't contain her feelings anymore, so let it out.

She looks at him hoping he would change his very mind.

Silence greets her as he stares with passion, so awkward.

He plants a kiss on her forehead and hopes she will be strong.

But she is far too weak, she cries again and again.

He doesn't look back, she admires him and wishes he could see

She isn't ready to let him go, yet he slowly fades away

"Stop crying!!" she tells herself, while holding back tears

Nothingness awaits her back home when she returns

No spark in her heart, just clouds above her eyes

She cries..she cries..she cries..she cries..