Blinded by what they call crystals

Reading my past writings, it is safe to assume I am such a depressing person! but I'm NOT! for some reason pain is much more easier to describe in words than joy.

My joy is shared with my family and friends, leaving no room for me to write.

My pain haunts me, as AFI wrote in their song "This time imperfect", pain really "cuts through my day and sinks into my dreams".

Just when I think I've experienced enough heartbreaks, another one comes along, yet it doesn't mean I've given up on HOPE. I'm positive I'm coming closer to meeting the one after all these trials and errors!! Then again sometimes I think to myself, "Why does having someone really matter?" well the answer to me is simple. I want to love and be loved. And I do believe having the right person for me will make MY life complete. Nobody else, but MY life. Some people don't feel the need to have somebody, some people might find company can suffocate or hinder them for achieving their personal/professional goals in life.

For me, I simply feel that I am ready to commit and give everything I can for someone I absolutely care about. I like the idea of spoiling someone and of course I love being spoiled too!!! I know they say don't look for love, but if I don't look that means I'm not trying to get what I want. Hmm...

Anyway, I'll stop ranting and sing along to AFI for now.

"This time imperfect" is one of my all time favorite AFI songs, the full lyrics go:

I cannot leave here, I cannot stay,
Forever haunted, more than afraid,
Asphyxiate on words I would say,
I'm drawn to a blackened sky as I turn blue,

There are no flowers, no not this time,
There'll be no angels gracing the lines,
Just these stark words, I find,
I'd show a smile, but I'm too weak,
I'd share with you could I only speak,
Just how much this, hurts me,


I cannot stay here, I cannot leave,
Just like all I loved, I'm make-believe,
Imagined heart, I disappear,
Seems...no one will appear here and make me real,

There are no flowers, no, not this time,
There will be no angels gracing the lines,
Just these stark words I find,
I'd show a smile, but I'm too weak,
I'd share with you could I only speak,
Just how much this hurts me,

I'd tell you how it haunts me,
I'd tell you how it haunts me,
(cuts through my day, and sinks into my dreams)
I'd tell you that it haunts me,
(cuts through my day, and sinks into my dreams)
You don't care that it haunts me,

Oh!
There are no flowers, no, not this time,
There will be no angels gracing the lines,
Just these stark words I find,
I'd show a smile, but I'm too weak,
I'd share with you could I only speak,
Just how much this hurts me,
Just how much this hurts me,
Just how much you...